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The Identity Coach

WITH THESE 10 SUGGESTIONS, YOU CAN EASE YOURSELF INTO MEDITATION

 

When I initially began meditating, I felt I’d stumbled onto the gates of hell, like I am punishing myself instead of relaxing!

For an endless hour that felt like forever, I sat bored, cross-legged and straight-backed, enduring the pain. I felt like I stayed so long in that moment I just wanted to get on with being busy. I’d laugh at anybody who attempted to tell me that they had mastered meditation! I struggled so much it seemed like I would never get the hang of it!

 

Yet, Here I am, a daily meditater who owes her good peace of mind to the practice. It has indeed changed my life.
But Nothing happens in a day or two, everything you want to master takes time. Meditating used to cause me a lot of pain and suffering, but it has since given me pleasure and now I don’t know how I would live without it.
I found that meditation had a profoundly transformative effect on me and it might be the same for you! Here are some things I wished I knew before going into the land of meditation…

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1. Begin with a modest goal.

Start with only 5 minutes a day, then work your way up from there. Starting with 30-minute sessions can be stressful and lead to burnout, but starting with 5-minute sessions is feasible and will help you get your program off the ground quickly.

2. Help yourself feel at ease

Dress comfortably in loose-fitting clothes and check that the room’s temperature is just right. Finding a peaceful, comfortable area to practice doesn’t matter if you’re sitting on a cushion, in a chair, or even on your bed. There’s no need to assume the lotus posture; just sit (or lay down) in whichever position seems most natural to you. Simply shut your eyes, take a deep breath, and let go if you like.

As your skills improve, you may increase your practice sessions by 5 minutes at a time until you discover the ideal time for you.
3. Set a timer or use an app to help you stay on track The use of a timer might help you stay focused on how long your practice sessions last. Removes the anxiety of wondering how much longer you’ve got left in the race. Another option is to use an app to aid you with your practice. A wide variety of meditation applications are available, some of which charge a fee but are otherwise free. Look around to see if you can find an app that meets your requirements while also enhancing your profession.

4. Get rid of interruptions

To be comfortable and attentive, remove as many distractions as possible from your environment.. Shut off your mobile phone before you begin your practice session (or put it in another room). Turn off your PC and phone’s notifications. Please don’t bother me while I’m meditating. Please let my housemates and family know when I’m doing this. (If you have children, this may be difficult.). During your practice period, try enlisting the assistance of your spouse; if they are also doing meditation, you may return the favor!

5. Pay attention on your breathing

Once you’ve found a comfortable position, focus on your breathing. Make an effort to take deep, steady breaths and hold them for a count of 5 before gently releasing them.

5
Don’t worry if it’s difficult at first; simply focus on your breath and you’ll find it easier to relax your body and mind.
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6. Stay grounded even if your thoughts veer off

It’s common for your thoughts to stray. Instead of trying to “stop” your thoughts, the purpose of meditation should be observation, acknowledgement, and letting go. To relax your thoughts, just keep bringing your attention back to your breathing.

7. Concentrate on yourself and your body

During your practice, pay attention to the bodily sensations you’re experiencing. This will help you remain present and aware of where your attention is going. Don’t dismiss (or criticize) any bodily pain you may be experiencing; instead, be aware of it and keep your attention on your breathing.

8. Allow yourself to relax and refrain from critiquing your performance. Worrying about doing it incorrectly is pointless; there is no right or wrong way to meditate; just what works for you is what matters. Don’t worry. Have faith in yourself, have faith in the process, and let your experience evolve naturally, without judgment or expectation.

9. It’s critical to be dedicated to your training

Give yourself enough time to include meditation into your daily routine. For the first month, set daily reminders in your calendar to remind you to meditate. It will take time for the habit to take hold, but making a deliberate effort is critical in the beginning.

10. Find a group you’re comfortable to meditate with

Some individuals prefer to meditate alone, while others feel that practicing with others makes their experience richer. In a lot of places, there are Zen or Tibetan meditation centers where you may go and meditate with others. Alternatively, you might join one of the many online organizations available to gain motivation and support in your profession.

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Ok, you are halfway through your life, the kids aren't as dependent on you anymore, and you are left wondering 'who am I' & 'what do I do now' - What's my purpose?⁠
⁠
I remember having a good hard look at myself and thinking - Ok, you are halfway through; how can I make the next half count!⁠
⁠
💥 The answer is to get curious about who you are today, reconnect or discover new passions, and dedicate the action to finding your midlife mission.⁠
⁠
Here are 10 questions you can ask yourself to help you find your purpose⁠
⁠
	1. What do you think about most?
	2. What do you talk about most? ⁠
	3. Where does your mind go when you contemplate⁠?
	4. What do friends come to you for advice about?⁠
	5. If you dare - ask your kids and family members - Can you describe me in 3 words?
	6. Do you want to have a new career⁠?
	7. Do you want to study⁠?
	8. Do you want to start your own business⁠?
	9. Do you want to dedicate time to a hobby that is always put on the back burner⁠?
	10. Do you want to volunteer for a cause close to your heart?⁠
⁠
When you set out to find your purpose, you will need to put in the time and effort to help it unfold for you. It isn't just going to fall in your lap - ⁠
⁠
Whether you feel called to volunteer or start an exciting new business, know that you were born with unique talents and gifts to give to the world when you were born. ⁠
⁠
💥Whether that is learning, teaching, or participating, finding a meaningful purpose will take time, trial and error, and perseverance⁠
⁠
We have led our lives up until now, making sure everyone gets what they need in life. At the same time, our interests sat firmly on that infamous backburner, and now it can feel a little awkward and downright uncomfortable to turn the spotlight on us so we can live a fulfilled and meaningful second half.⁠
⁠
💌 No one is coming to save you; it is up to you and you alone to take action and lean right into finding your purpose
Louise Evans
louiseevansofficial
•
Follow
Ok, you are halfway through your life, the kids aren't as dependent on you anymore, and you are left wondering 'who am I' & 'what do I do now' - What's my purpose?⁠ ⁠ I remember having a good hard look at myself and thinking - Ok, you are halfway through; how can I make the next half count!⁠ ⁠ 💥 The answer is to get curious about who you are today, reconnect or discover new passions, and dedicate the action to finding your midlife mission.⁠ ⁠ Here are 10 questions you can ask yourself to help you find your purpose⁠ ⁠ 1. What do you think about most? 2. What do you talk about most? ⁠ 3. Where does your mind go when you contemplate⁠? 4. What do friends come to you for advice about?⁠ 5. If you dare - ask your kids and family members - Can you describe me in 3 words? 6. Do you want to have a new career⁠? 7. Do you want to study⁠? 8. Do you want to start your own business⁠? 9. Do you want to dedicate time to a hobby that is always put on the back burner⁠? 10. Do you want to volunteer for a cause close to your heart?⁠ ⁠ When you set out to find your purpose, you will need to put in the time and effort to help it unfold for you. It isn't just going to fall in your lap - ⁠ ⁠ Whether you feel called to volunteer or start an exciting new business, know that you were born with unique talents and gifts to give to the world when you were born. ⁠ ⁠ 💥Whether that is learning, teaching, or participating, finding a meaningful purpose will take time, trial and error, and perseverance⁠ ⁠ We have led our lives up until now, making sure everyone gets what they need in life. At the same time, our interests sat firmly on that infamous backburner, and now it can feel a little awkward and downright uncomfortable to turn the spotlight on us so we can live a fulfilled and meaningful second half.⁠ ⁠ 💌 No one is coming to save you; it is up to you and you alone to take action and lean right into finding your purpose
3 months ago
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That inner critic can get out of hand. While this voice inside our heads can motivate us toward our goals, it can often go rogue and be more harmful than helpful - this is when it becomes negative self-talk.⁠
⁠
If you have ever caught yourself saying⁠
😢 I'm not good at this⁠
😢I can never do anything right⁠
😢 I'll never be good enough⁠
😢 Why do I even bother⁠
😢 No one cares about me⁠
😢 I deserve to be alone⁠
⁠
Anytime this conversation goes on inside your head, you limit yourself and your potential because you allow the inner critic to take control.⁠
⁠
When you focus on and let the inner critic get loud, you will begin to feel lost, unmotivated, feeling stressed, helpless and hopeless.⁠
⁠
Here are 4 ways you can tell if you have let the inner critic take over⁠
⁠
⚡ 1. You have limited yourself - You tell yourself you can't do this or that and make up a reason as to why and then cling to it.⁠
⚡ 2. Perfectionism - You pick apart everything you do and throw it out the window if you don't reach your perfect expectations⁠
⚡ 3. Depression - Excessive negative self-talk, if not caught and recognised early, can lead down a path of depression.⁠
⚡ 4. Family, friends, and partner challenges - You feel people start to turn away from you. Even those that said they had your back through thick and thin. Constant self-criticism can take a toll on you and the people around you.⁠
⁠
💌 Here is what I want you to do⁠
When you catch yourself talking down to yourself - ask would I speak to a friend like this or my child. Then, talk to yourself about how you would nurture your friend/child through a challenge.
Louise Evans
louiseevansofficial
•
Follow
That inner critic can get out of hand. While this voice inside our heads can motivate us toward our goals, it can often go rogue and be more harmful than helpful - this is when it becomes negative self-talk.⁠ ⁠ If you have ever caught yourself saying⁠ 😢 I'm not good at this⁠ 😢I can never do anything right⁠ 😢 I'll never be good enough⁠ 😢 Why do I even bother⁠ 😢 No one cares about me⁠ 😢 I deserve to be alone⁠ ⁠ Anytime this conversation goes on inside your head, you limit yourself and your potential because you allow the inner critic to take control.⁠ ⁠ When you focus on and let the inner critic get loud, you will begin to feel lost, unmotivated, feeling stressed, helpless and hopeless.⁠ ⁠ Here are 4 ways you can tell if you have let the inner critic take over⁠ ⁠ ⚡ 1. You have limited yourself - You tell yourself you can't do this or that and make up a reason as to why and then cling to it.⁠ ⚡ 2. Perfectionism - You pick apart everything you do and throw it out the window if you don't reach your perfect expectations⁠ ⚡ 3. Depression - Excessive negative self-talk, if not caught and recognised early, can lead down a path of depression.⁠ ⚡ 4. Family, friends, and partner challenges - You feel people start to turn away from you. Even those that said they had your back through thick and thin. Constant self-criticism can take a toll on you and the people around you.⁠ ⁠ 💌 Here is what I want you to do⁠ When you catch yourself talking down to yourself - ask would I speak to a friend like this or my child. Then, talk to yourself about how you would nurture your friend/child through a challenge.
3 months ago
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During our 40 plus years of life, we have had some experiences, some good and some not so great. These experiences shape our views of our strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, and core beliefs and values.

To move forward and reclaim our identity, we have to take ourselves off the back burner and put ourselves front and centre to find out our dreams, purpose, and vision for the second part of our adult life. This means we have to be aware of who we are and acknowledge our authentic selves as we are today.

Here are 4 simple ways midlife mums can uncover their self-awareness when they are feeling lost

✔️1. Inner thoughts
Our inner thoughts give us a tremendous amount of information about how we perceive ourselves. 
⚆ Do you compare yourself to others? 
⚆ Do you judge others? 
⚆ Do you have negative or positive thoughts about a person or event?

Before answering these questions, we first have to pay attention to our thoughts consciously.

✔️2. Reactions
⚆ How Do You Respond To Events At Home Or In The Media?
⚆ How do you respond or react when you see something you agree or disagree with?
⚆ Are there any areas that pique your interest?

Before we can work out where to direct our life, we need to know the answers to these questions.

✔️3. Knowledge
Being an active learner will help you uncover topics discussions that you can deepen your learning and understanding about yourself and the world you live in

⚆ What topics do you like to learn about?
⚆ What news events interest you?
⚆ What Youtube channels do you always land on?
⚆ What videos pop up on social media that have been targeted at you?

✔️4. Quiet The Mind & Body
Every day we receive thousands of marketing pieces online and in real life. Unfortunately, our brains were not designed to accept a bombardment of information, so ultimately, we sacrifice precious mind space to fit it all in, and it can leave us in a spin.

⚆ How can you turn off your mind?
⚆ Where can you find a place to be still?

💝This is an ongoing process—Check in with your self-awareness every 30 days. Connect back into yourself and learn to love your strengths, weaknesses, passions because these are what make you - You!
Louise Evans
louiseevansofficial
•
Follow
During our 40 plus years of life, we have had some experiences, some good and some not so great. These experiences shape our views of our strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, and core beliefs and values. To move forward and reclaim our identity, we have to take ourselves off the back burner and put ourselves front and centre to find out our dreams, purpose, and vision for the second part of our adult life. This means we have to be aware of who we are and acknowledge our authentic selves as we are today. Here are 4 simple ways midlife mums can uncover their self-awareness when they are feeling lost ✔️1. Inner thoughts Our inner thoughts give us a tremendous amount of information about how we perceive ourselves. ⚆ Do you compare yourself to others? ⚆ Do you judge others? ⚆ Do you have negative or positive thoughts about a person or event? Before answering these questions, we first have to pay attention to our thoughts consciously. ✔️2. Reactions ⚆ How Do You Respond To Events At Home Or In The Media? ⚆ How do you respond or react when you see something you agree or disagree with? ⚆ Are there any areas that pique your interest? Before we can work out where to direct our life, we need to know the answers to these questions. ✔️3. Knowledge Being an active learner will help you uncover topics discussions that you can deepen your learning and understanding about yourself and the world you live in ⚆ What topics do you like to learn about? ⚆ What news events interest you? ⚆ What Youtube channels do you always land on? ⚆ What videos pop up on social media that have been targeted at you? ✔️4. Quiet The Mind & Body Every day we receive thousands of marketing pieces online and in real life. Unfortunately, our brains were not designed to accept a bombardment of information, so ultimately, we sacrifice precious mind space to fit it all in, and it can leave us in a spin. ⚆ How can you turn off your mind? ⚆ Where can you find a place to be still? 💝This is an ongoing process—Check in with your self-awareness every 30 days. Connect back into yourself and learn to love your strengths, weaknesses, passions because these are what make you - You!
3 months ago
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🤦‍♀️ Do you still believe in these 3 Midlife Crisis Myths? ⁠
⁠
While society has labelled this midlife event as a negative stage with a looming sense of mortality, Developmental psychologists believe the reality is quite different. Here are 3 myths about a midlife crisis⁠
⁠
❌ It Happens to Everyone. - no, some people don't ever feel like they are going through a midlife crisis. ⁠
⁠
❌ It's the Beginning of the End. It's only a midway point - we don't throw out food halfway to their midway point; why do we think we have expired?⁠
⁠
❌ It's Always Negative. - no, for some people who grasp the concept of the first two points. That midlife time can be empowering, thrilling, and soul-nourishing⁠
⁠
❤️ Remember to like and follow.❤️⁠
⁠
Louise Evans
louiseevansofficial
•
Follow
🤦‍♀️ Do you still believe in these 3 Midlife Crisis Myths? ⁠ ⁠ While society has labelled this midlife event as a negative stage with a looming sense of mortality, Developmental psychologists believe the reality is quite different. Here are 3 myths about a midlife crisis⁠ ⁠ ❌ It Happens to Everyone. - no, some people don't ever feel like they are going through a midlife crisis. ⁠ ⁠ ❌ It's the Beginning of the End. It's only a midway point - we don't throw out food halfway to their midway point; why do we think we have expired?⁠ ⁠ ❌ It's Always Negative. - no, for some people who grasp the concept of the first two points. That midlife time can be empowering, thrilling, and soul-nourishing⁠ ⁠ ❤️ Remember to like and follow.❤️⁠ ⁠
4 months ago
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📌This simple midlife identity crisis hack will change everything.⁠
⁠
We love to complicate things, and when it comes to rediscovering who we are in that midlife passage, we can be so hard on ourselves. ⁠
⁠
To the point that we become so overwhelmed that we stay stuck and never really rediscover who we are after a lifetime of kids, family, relationships, and careers.⁠
⁠
That's when depression, loneliness (even if we are in a room full of people) & anxiety drop into our lives.⁠
⁠
But this simple midlife identity crisis hack will change everything. ⁠
⁠
⚡⚡Spend time finding out who you are not⚡⚡⁠
⁠
We are so comfortable in our daily routine that we don't try new things - we stay safe in the confines of our boundaries.⁠
⁠
How about we flip the script and spend time working out what we don't like - flexing that trial and error muscle.⁠
⁠
In the pursuit of finding your identity in midlife, you will discover what you don't like, which is just as crucial as uncovering what you do like. ⁠
⁠
Plus, you might find some surprises along the way about things you didn't think you would like that you now in fact enjoy very much⁠
⁠
💜 Remember to like and follow.💜⁠
Louise Evans
louiseevansofficial
•
Follow
📌This simple midlife identity crisis hack will change everything.⁠ ⁠ We love to complicate things, and when it comes to rediscovering who we are in that midlife passage, we can be so hard on ourselves. ⁠ ⁠ To the point that we become so overwhelmed that we stay stuck and never really rediscover who we are after a lifetime of kids, family, relationships, and careers.⁠ ⁠ That's when depression, loneliness (even if we are in a room full of people) & anxiety drop into our lives.⁠ ⁠ But this simple midlife identity crisis hack will change everything. ⁠ ⁠ ⚡⚡Spend time finding out who you are not⚡⚡⁠ ⁠ We are so comfortable in our daily routine that we don't try new things - we stay safe in the confines of our boundaries.⁠ ⁠ How about we flip the script and spend time working out what we don't like - flexing that trial and error muscle.⁠ ⁠ In the pursuit of finding your identity in midlife, you will discover what you don't like, which is just as crucial as uncovering what you do like. ⁠ ⁠ Plus, you might find some surprises along the way about things you didn't think you would like that you now in fact enjoy very much⁠ ⁠ 💜 Remember to like and follow.💜⁠
4 months ago
View on Instagram |
5/7
🤸‍♀️ 9 things you can do right now to improve your significantly decreased ambition after 40⁠
⁠
Often midlife means you are in a place in your life where promotions aren't as important, you feel like you are idling at work, and you are more interested in doing something that is fulfilling.⁠
⁠
📜 A recent study by the Families and Work Institute found that people as young as 35 begin to lose ambition around being promoted and want to experience more of life in a more fulfilling and purpose-driven way.⁠
⁠
🤸‍♀️ So here are 9 things you can do right now to improve your significantly decreased ambition after 40⁠
⁠
💎 Spend time working out what makes you happy ⁠
💎 Let go of other people's unreasonable expectations of you⁠
💎 Be open to self-development⁠
💎 Keep your path flexible - it's ok to let things go, dreams that no longer provide fulfillment, and add new goals along the way⁠
💎 Get crystal clear about what lights you up⁠
💎 Find a mentor to help you⁠
💎 Leave your comfort zone - Challenge yourself to do things you have never done before⁠
💎 Chase motivation - motivation doesn't just land on you; you have to actively hunt it down⁠
💎 Take one step at a time⁠
⁠
⚡⚡Remember to like and follow...⚡⚡⁠
Louise Evans
louiseevansofficial
•
Follow
🤸‍♀️ 9 things you can do right now to improve your significantly decreased ambition after 40⁠ ⁠ Often midlife means you are in a place in your life where promotions aren't as important, you feel like you are idling at work, and you are more interested in doing something that is fulfilling.⁠ ⁠ 📜 A recent study by the Families and Work Institute found that people as young as 35 begin to lose ambition around being promoted and want to experience more of life in a more fulfilling and purpose-driven way.⁠ ⁠ 🤸‍♀️ So here are 9 things you can do right now to improve your significantly decreased ambition after 40⁠ ⁠ 💎 Spend time working out what makes you happy ⁠ 💎 Let go of other people's unreasonable expectations of you⁠ 💎 Be open to self-development⁠ 💎 Keep your path flexible - it's ok to let things go, dreams that no longer provide fulfillment, and add new goals along the way⁠ 💎 Get crystal clear about what lights you up⁠ 💎 Find a mentor to help you⁠ 💎 Leave your comfort zone - Challenge yourself to do things you have never done before⁠ 💎 Chase motivation - motivation doesn't just land on you; you have to actively hunt it down⁠ 💎 Take one step at a time⁠ ⁠ ⚡⚡Remember to like and follow...⚡⚡⁠
4 months ago
View on Instagram |
6/7
🤯 4 Reasons why midlife mums struggle to find their identity⁠
⁠
📜I heard this quote the other day. ⁠
⁠
Without the mother, the child would not exist. Without the child, the mother would not exist. And if we lose ourselves, our children also lose us.⁠
⁠
As mothers, we get so consumed with serving our family. Yet, the mystifyingly gentle and fierce love for our kids powerfully bonds our identity and a sense of purpose.⁠
⁠
But as they grow older, we endure the most brutal breakup of all time. ⁠
⁠
We do our job so well that they start to pull away from us and put into practice all the values and morals you have spent countless hours worrying about. ⁠
⁠
Were you enough for them? Did you teach them enough? If they will be ok out in this big wide world.⁠
⁠
You are left having to find a way to separate yourself from a full-time mother to a sideline mum cheering them on from the sidelines while they play their game of life.⁠
⁠
So, recognizing that you have lost yourself, you get to find yourself again.⁠
⁠
Here are the 4 most common reasons why midlife mums struggle to find their identity⁠
⁠
❤️ Their lives revolved around their kids and now have a gaping hole and feel lost and lonely⁠
⁠
❤️ They've lost touch with what they like. They dislike - like their sense of style, music, hobbies, even food - how many times have you done the food shopping and passed something by because you say to yourself 'oh, only I will eat that, no one else will eat it and we pick up something the entire house will eat foregoing our own likes. ⁠
⁠
❤️ They compare themselves to younger versions of themselves - or worse, the youth of today! ⁠
⁠
❤️ Their identity revolved around their job and now questioning 'Is this it' - Is this what I do for the rest of my life⁠
⁠
✨ The good news is that you haven't lost anything - your identity is still there - it is just buried under roles and responsibilities we have ⁠
⁠
✅ Remember to like and follow.⁠
Louise Evans
louiseevansofficial
•
Follow
🤯 4 Reasons why midlife mums struggle to find their identity⁠ ⁠ 📜I heard this quote the other day. ⁠ ⁠ Without the mother, the child would not exist. Without the child, the mother would not exist. And if we lose ourselves, our children also lose us.⁠ ⁠ As mothers, we get so consumed with serving our family. Yet, the mystifyingly gentle and fierce love for our kids powerfully bonds our identity and a sense of purpose.⁠ ⁠ But as they grow older, we endure the most brutal breakup of all time. ⁠ ⁠ We do our job so well that they start to pull away from us and put into practice all the values and morals you have spent countless hours worrying about. ⁠ ⁠ Were you enough for them? Did you teach them enough? If they will be ok out in this big wide world.⁠ ⁠ You are left having to find a way to separate yourself from a full-time mother to a sideline mum cheering them on from the sidelines while they play their game of life.⁠ ⁠ So, recognizing that you have lost yourself, you get to find yourself again.⁠ ⁠ Here are the 4 most common reasons why midlife mums struggle to find their identity⁠ ⁠ ❤️ Their lives revolved around their kids and now have a gaping hole and feel lost and lonely⁠ ⁠ ❤️ They've lost touch with what they like. They dislike - like their sense of style, music, hobbies, even food - how many times have you done the food shopping and passed something by because you say to yourself 'oh, only I will eat that, no one else will eat it and we pick up something the entire house will eat foregoing our own likes. ⁠ ⁠ ❤️ They compare themselves to younger versions of themselves - or worse, the youth of today! ⁠ ⁠ ❤️ Their identity revolved around their job and now questioning 'Is this it' - Is this what I do for the rest of my life⁠ ⁠ ✨ The good news is that you haven't lost anything - your identity is still there - it is just buried under roles and responsibilities we have ⁠ ⁠ ✅ Remember to like and follow.⁠
4 months ago
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7/7
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